1. When, at 7:30 at night, your body says, "Let's go to bed for the night; I'm really tired & need some rest." instead of listening, drag it to the pool. Rest, I don't need no stinkin' rest!
2. Pack a really nutritious lunch of quinoa and a salad with black beans but upon learning that there will be free pizza, load up on the greasy slices instead. Fuel? Fuel is for sissies!
3. That nagging, achey, Charlie horsey feeling in your right calf? Alternately ignore it then obsess about it. Look it up on WebMd only to discover now that you need a calf amputation because clearly you have a flesh eating virus or gout or something.
4. Take an unplanned rest day on Thursday to roam around Target. Then buy a giant peanut butter egg for a post race treat and get something you NEVER eat to try as fuel during race. There is NO BETTER idea than trying new foods when you are running 31 miles. What could go wrong?
5. Consider downgrading to the half because you aren't that confident in your training. Training, what training? You've been spending all your time in the pool or on the bike. But be sure to let your pride get in the way. A horrible 50K is better than a less than stellar half marathon, right? Right.
Do as I say kiddos, not as I do.